We just don’t get it.

Back in the late-80s/early-90s, when we were kids, there was absolutely nothing cooler than owning a fluorescent yellow trimmed pair of rollerblades. Not rollerskates. RollerBLADES mother fucker.

During this time skateboarding was just growing in notoriety, but that fad couldn’t hold a candle to what rollerblading brought: cruising the Venice boardwalk with nothing but RayBands and a Walkman (shirtless of course), hitting up the local Skate City roller rink and looking like a total bad boy, street hockey in non-ice friendly cities, and having the ability to wear fifty pounds of protective safety give and still looking cool.

But something happened in the last ten to fifteen years that ended the popularity of rollerblading. It suddenly became synonymous with being a Winger fan and/or homosexuality. Everyone remembers this old adage:

Q: You know what’s harder than rollerblading?

A: Admitting to your dad that you’re gay.

We don’t understand what happened. Rollerblading was the most masculine activity a man could do during our childhood. Remember Airborne?! Neither of us have been able to look at a steep hill and NOT call it the Devil’s Backbone!

So that’s it. We’re demanding for a call to arms. Skateboarders: stand down. Fixed gear bikers: move aside. The Brothers Greenberg are bringing rollerblading back and we’re bringing fanny packs with us!!!